The scandal of Miss BloodyButt is a sub-plot of the 1995 insanity sometimes referred to as ALT.SCIENTOLOGY.WAR

> Tom Klemesrud wrote:
>
> I hate thinking back on this; and worse, I hate knowing that many people I respect here still don't believe what I said about this.

Background

Tom Klemesrud's BBS was the upstream provider of Dennis Erlich's a.r.s internet feed back in 1994-95. If you aren't aware of who Dennis Erlich is, then just realize that back in 1995, he was the cult's enemy #1

One day, early in 95, Erlich had replied via the BBS feed, to an anonymously posted a.r.s message containing copyrighted OT materials.
Erlich quoted the message and said simply, "it looks like the actual OT material to me" The RTC (Scientology Head Office) actually raided and sued Dennis, while at the same time, they tried to pressure Tom Klemesrud to cut off Dennis' internet access. Tom refused, and said that he'd need the RTC to show him proof of copyright ownership before he would do that. They refused to show him proof, and instead sued Tom for "contributory infringement."

January 14 1995

The Bar

Tom Klemesrud visited a Los Angeles bar after returning from a convention of BBS sysops in Denver. According to Klemesrud, a woman came up to him at the bar, they began conversing, and then they went to another bar. At the second bar the woman allegedly told him that she was an IRS agent, showing him a laminated ID card with the letters "IRS" in blue. The subject of Scientology came up, and she mentioned the names of IRS agents who had been involved with the investigation of Scientology's tax-exempt status in the 1980s. Eventually, says Klemesrud, they ended up at his home where he says she asked to see his BBS because she was supposedly investigating Scientology's tax-exempt status.

Blood Everywhere

After asking a few questions about users of the L.A. Valley College BBS, the woman excused herself to use the bathroom. When she did not return immediately, Klemesrud says he went to check on her and saw blood on the floor through the partially opened doorway. The woman took a plastic tube containing some blood-red goo from between her legs, and began flinging it around, splashing it on the walls of his apartment.
According to Tom, she told him that she represented Scientology and if he knew what was good for him, he'd better start doing what Scientology demanded. Police were called to the scene. According to the police report, the apartment was quiet, there were bloody jeans on the hall floor, and blood was smeared in the bathroom and on the bed.

Police Report

Klemesrud says that while he called the FBI and 911 in case the woman attempted to do anything even crazier, she single-mindedly moved repeatedly between the bathroom and the bedroom and spread blood around. He grabbed his shotgun from the corner of his bedroom and placed it in the kitchen, then hid it in the closet. He says that he never mentioned the CIA, and believed her to be an IRS agent until he first saw the blood.

Klemesrud was sitting in a chair and the woman was sitting on the bed. Klemesrud told the officers that his shotgun was in the kitchen, and they retrieved it from a closet in the kitchen area. The police report states that Klemesrud said he let her into his apartment because she claimed to be an IRS agent, and that she went into the bathroom and began cutting herself. He also reported that she was trying to frame him in an attempt to silence Church of Scientology critic Dennis Erlich (the police report confusedly states that Klemesrud was a "critic for" Scientology).

The woman's account in the police report, on the other hand, stated that they had met in a bar the previous week and she came to his apartment that evening. She stated that he loaded his shotgun when she entered the bedroom, pointed it at her, and stated, "How do you like that, I can kill anybody I want." She explained the blood as the result of a medical problem with rectal bleeding and hemorrhoids aggravated by alcohol and stress, and denied any involvement with Scientology or acquaintance with anyone in Scientology.

Klemesrud says that while he originally was under the impression that she was cutting herself in the bathroom, he is now convinced that she was cutting open "a bag, bladder, or balloon nestled in her crotch" which was filled with blood and which he both saw and poked when she turned to sit on his bed and spread blood on it. He maintains that "if this is a medical problem, then she has an intestine or artery running outside her body filled with cold almost coagulated blood."

Wrong Person Arrested

Klemesrud was arrested on a charge of assault with a deadly weapon and released on $30,000 bail the next morning, while the woman was allowed to leave the scene without any examination. A police detective was subsequently unable to contact her. The District Attorney rejected the charges, refusing to prosecute.

The Internet Connection

Dennis Erlich posted a short account of the incident to alt.religion.scientology (a.r.s) on January 15, 1995, while another version of what happened was anonymously posted on January 23 by "-AB-." The latter posting claimed that its author "called in a very big favor owed me" to obtain the name and telephone number of the woman involved in the incident with Klemesrud, and sent "a trusted friend (aspiring investigative reporter)" to interview her. This version of the story agreed with Klemesrud's account that they had only met the evening of the incident, rather than the week before. It then goes on to claim that Klemesrud had accused her of being in the CIA, threatened her with a shotgun, demanded that she have sex with him, and repeatedly telephoned the Church of Scientology until she called 911.

Scientology Spam

On alt.religion.scientology, the Scientology sock puppets sprang into action, bringing all sorts of "Dead AGent" materials out about Tom and alternative theories about what happened. They accused him of being not credible, of being violent, unstable, a drunk, etc. All in all, not unlike the stupid lies they were recently saying about Mark Bunker following his bogus arrest in Chicago.

The Scientology party line was that the woman in Tom's apartment, whoever she might be, had nothing whatsoever to do with Scientology, and that Tom was either hallucinating or simply making up his story about her claiming to intimidate him in the name of Scientology. They claimed that he was in a cynical and malicious way, trying to unfairly malign Scientology for something that involved just him and some drunk "lady."

By virtue of the sock puppets intense sneering and smearing of both Tom and Dennis, I was somewhat convinced that Tom's story was probably the truth.

Tom later posted a transcript of a part of the 911 tape (it was only a partial, because the LAPD couldn't find the remaining portions of the recording). The part that was transcribed fit almost exactly with Tom's earlier recollection of the 911 call, and verified at least that part of his account. It also made it pretty clear that the name Scientology had been used in his apartment by his "guest." From the tape, it was clear that as the blood smearing was happening, Tom honestly believed an OSA agent was threatening him. He was clearly not making up a story in a calculated, devious, intentional way. His somewhat inebriated state also ruled out every possibility except three. Either he was telling the truth, or else he was an accomplished actor with a completely devious mind, or he was capable of creating an elaborate ruse instantly, while under the influence, and under the stress of having a strange and naked FBI agent woman, bleeding badly from her butt, in his apartment.

Scientology Lies

But then, the cult's version of events were further discredited. In direct contradiction of the shore stories being fed to the newsgroup by the Scientologists, Helena Kobrin (top Scientology lawyer) took an affidavit from one Linda Woolard to the L.A. police. Woolard's affidavit claimed that it was she who was with Tom that night, and it was she who had bloodied Tom's apartment walls with blood from her hemorrhoids, which she claimed had erupted and began spurting only after Tom had spontaneously threatened her with a shotgun.

The affidavit's hemorrhoid story was ludicrous on its face. Moreover, if Linda Woolard had nothing to do with Scientology, why did she give her sworn affidavit to Moxon and Kobrin? And how would she even know about them? How would they know about her?

One of the sock puppets, possibly it was Andrew Milne, weakly claimed on the newsgroup, that because Scientology was being seen as unbelievable by a.r.s critics, the cult had decided to seek out the Woolard woman to find out the truth. But then, how did they find her?

No one knew her real name, as she had given Tom a false name and falsely claimed to be an FBI agent. How did Scientology find out her identity if, as Andrew Milne had claimed, she had nothing at all to do with Scientology?

Milne later floated out a second theory that she must have contacted Scientology's lawyers after reading all the stories about herself on the internet. He was pressed on his claim. Did he know if she had done this, or was this just his acceptable truth shore story? Milne simply wouldn't say.

The questions arose that if Woolard thought she needed a lawyer, why would she contact Scientology's lawyers? Why would she not contact a lawyer out of the yellow pages? Why would she even think she needed to contact a lawyer at all? After all, she was in no legal trouble, as far as anyone could tell. No cops appeared to think she needed arresting for bloodying Tom's walls. No feds appeared to want to question her for impersonating an FBI agent. Woolard to the best of anyone's knowledge, had never posted to the newsgroup. If she really had seen the newsgroup, and wanted to correct false statements, she could have done so directly, without hiring a lawyer.

Also, contrary to the sock puppet shore story, Kobrin never posted the affidavit to a.r.s or anywhere else where it would quell criticism. No, she took the affidavit to the LAPD, probably so she could then use it as some sort of alleged "police" evidence that she could subsequently introduce into the civil action they were mounting against Tom. Quite simply, Scientology tried to terrorize Tom in order to shut him up, and to coerce his participation in the silencing of Dennis Erlich.

As unbelievable as all this sounds, the edict to Scientologists to act this way is right in the LRH policies. Critics were being shown in a quite literal way, the Scientology policy that says bring actual blood sex crime evidence to bear against enemies. We were being shown that Scientology would even stage terrorist acts to manufacture such evidence.

Brainwashed

Later, an offloaded ex-Scientologist who still was in thrall to Scientology (Keith Little, posting as 'Whippersnapper') argued strenuously for the plausibility of Woolard's affidavit, and even went searching for medical support for the theory that someone's asshole might actually spurt blood with enough force to have blood hitting the walls.

He was informed by at least one physician that if someone was bleeding like that, it would mean ruptured arteries, and the afflicted person would be in very immediate danger of dying from loss of blood. But did Linda Woolard's affidavit mention needing medical help? Did she get weak from loss of blood? No, quite the contrary. According to all accounts, including her affidavit, she refused medical treatment when asked by the cops at Tom's apartment. She just waltzed out into the Los Angeles night, as fit as a fiddle.

Media Attention

On January 24, the Los Angeles Times contacted Scientology for comment on the story, but the request was declined. That evening, however, the Church of Scientology's OSA faxed what was apparently a signed declaration by the woman involved to the Times. This declaration gives an account of the incident which is virtually identical to that posted by "-AB-," including the erroneous detail that Klemesrud had a 10-gauge shotgun (it was a 12-gauge, as described in the police report). No newspaper article on the incident was published.

This incident raises numerous unanswered questions: Who is "-AB-"? Where did he obtain his information? Why did the Church of Scientology later fax almost exactly the same information to the Los Angeles Times? Why did the Church of Scientology take such extreme measures to obtain "-AB-"s identity? Why would a woman with no connections to Scientology give her declaration to the Church of Scientology rather than the police?


http://www.lermanet2.com/scientologynews/skeptics-society95.html#MissBlood
http://www.holysmoke.org/cos/miss-bloodybutt.htm